Wednesday, May 04, 2011

"Official" Statement From Cereus Regarding Absolute Poker and Ultimate Bet

Dear Sucker:

It is finally time for all the chumps in the world (and that includes you, buddy) to get a life and realize that you were dumb shits to do business with us. Geez -- it was not enough that superuser accounts were created and some players lost ungodly amount of mobney playing at an unfair advantage? Even when the stories surfaced you still believed in us? Pathetic! At least you know that we always had secure connections -- uh ... right?

Did you ever try to follow the money to find out who really was running the show here? Holy JFK -- talk about a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma!

Even after the DOJ indictments came down and even after PokerStars and Full Tilt Poker suspended real money play to USA poker players, we still continuue to offer tournaments and "cash" games. If you have not yet figured it out, let us explain it to you: our "cash" games now = play money games. Have fun playing while our sites are still functional.

Oh yeah -- don't come looking for us. That deserted building you might find? We're on an extended vacation.

One more thing regarding cash outs ..................

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Sincerely,

The Management



NOTE: A good read for the real sad story here ...

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4 Comments:

Anonymous KenP said...

Lightning36DD

Congratulation on you tournament win.

Sincerely,

The Staff at UB

6:34 AM  
Blogger Lucki Duck said...

So I guess I can kiss my 68 cents good-bye?

9:20 AM  
Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

UB and AP sucked and NOBODY should have been playing on those sites for the past few years. So you got what you deserve? I feel bad for ya but when you play on corrupt evil sites that is what you get..

9:51 AM  
Blogger lightning36 said...

Wicked Chops Poker gives a different story in a post today. Hmmm ...

3:41 PM  

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