Sunday, March 04, 2012

Unofficial Las Vegas Hookers Week

It was started by this guy ... and continued by this guy ... so what the hell, I am ready to jump on the bandwagon and make it a reality: the first blogger Unofficial Las Vegas Hookers Week. Yowsa!

The purpose of this week, if I might be so bold to suggest, is to "honor" the ladies of the night of Sin City. Well, maybe not so much honor, but to at least acknowledge the people who are as much a part of our Las Vegas experience as the porn slappers who line the Strip we love so dearly.

First, let me start by saying that I do not have any great stories of actually patronizing any Las Vegas hookers. As this guy will tell you, I am a Midwesterner. We are known for our common sense values, friendliness, and steadfastness. I have been married for over twenty years. I take my marriage vows seriously. 'nough said. But ... that doesn't mean that I don't know what goes on around me.

I lost count of the number of sojourns I have made to Las Vegas some time ago. I would estimate maybe 75-100 trips? For several years, I would have been hard pressed to know that hookers even existed in Las Vegas. Was it that I was so innocent ... or was it that my brother and I hung out on the north side of the strip in the el cheapo places? During the early years many nights were spent at Circus-Circus -- one of the low rollers dream spots. Cheap hotel, cheap eats, but tons of kiddies and families. It would not exactly be a great place for business for a lady of the night, I imagine. Other times we stayed and hung out at Westward Ho. If you had ever been in the Ho before, you realize that we were really pushing the limit there. If you weren't at least 60 years old you didn't fit in at the Ho. Certainly that place would not be hookers' paradise.

Later we moved toward the center of the Strip, the place where we feel most comfortable today. Bingo -- hookerland! Now we know that any late night spent on the strip will tend to bring you at least a few invitations if you so much as even look at the hookers. Some of the usual-type comments:

Upon seeing a rather attractive group of three hookers, led by an attractive blond, I perhaps looked a little too long, which resulted in:

hooker: "I'd sure like to make your night."

Hmmm ... there were three ... hmmm ...

After a long poker session after the economy turned bad, the hookers in and near the Imperial Palace were getting really aggressive.

hooker: "Hey baby, where ya going"
light: "To my room."  (big mistake to say this)
hooker: "Take me with you, baby."
light -- swatting the woman's hands off me: "Going to SLEEP."

Most of the time I try to give the "definitely not interested" vibe when I am in hookerland, but a guy walking solo down the strip at 4:00 a.m. seems to give off maybe a "pathetic" vibe instead.

The hookers are not hard to spot. Look for the women who look like they are advertising their wares, and bingo -- you betcha! Of course, if you go past a club like Drai's late at night, the women who appear to wear clothing best described as tight and minimal are the young partiers who might have a future in the world's oldest profession -- but not just yet.

So ... now it is time to do your part to promote this week. Post a comment here. Post your own hooker story in your blog. Let the good times roll!


Anonymous KenP said...

According to a blogger with a vocabulary like the 2-dollar variety, I am a whore. You'll recognize her. She'll show up shortly complaining I got her link.

As for boring, you are no more boring than me. OK, who am I trying to kid?

2:48 PM  
Blogger lightning36 said...

Ken, we are both boring, but at least we are solid and consistent.

As for links --- don't worry, some people obsessed with links do not frequent this blog anymore.

We ought to have a conversation over beers at The Shoe soon.

2:56 PM  
Blogger JT88Keys said...

Okay, I joined the fun. My Vegas hooker stories can be found here:

5:19 PM  
Blogger grrouchie said...

This has been a pretty amusing turn having a bunch of bloggers all share stories about the same subject.
We couldn't have planned it better lol!!!

8:08 PM  
Blogger Rob said...

Great post, my friend. Did I really start this thing? :)

I've got to say that it is very surprising that the Westward Ho didn't have any....well, you know....HO'S!!! I mean, with that name, come on. I suspect there were hookers working Circus Circus, but they were so cheap they thought you were too classy for them!

Anyway, appreciate the shout out. But I thought I was on your blogroll and now I don't see that I'm not listed there? Am I misremembering?

10:41 PM  
Blogger lightning36 said...

Rob: Some time ago I moved my blogroll not from my main page to a link from the main page. I decided to put the blogroll directly back on the main page again. However, knowing very little about HTML I just reposted my old blogroll I saved. As soon as I have a little spare time I am going to sub in the latest update. You will be there, Mr Popularity!

11:00 PM  
Blogger bastinptc said...

I've been approached but only a couple times from 20 paces. That Midwestern vibe, for sure, yet I'd venture the same goes for any poker player serious about his/her game. -EV is -EV.

11:40 PM  
Blogger Rob said...

Thank you, Lighting. I appreciate it. Take your time, because, I have to say that if I keep posting hooker stories I may have to start finding ways to DECREASE traffic!

Apparently everyone loves hookers! Who knew?

11:40 PM  
Blogger David Westbay said...

A couple of years ago, during the Winter Classic, I was hanging out with other bloggers in the Geisha Bar at the IP and trying to decide who looked familiar and who didn't. I asked one young lady, who looked like she might have been someone I met at a previous WPBT gathering, what her name was. She told me (I don't remember it now) and started to chat me up. Eventually she asked if I wanted some "naked company." I politely declined, and she moved on. Surprisingly, she was not as aggressive as those in some of the other stories I have read. But I will always remember the phrase, "naked company"!

12:17 PM  
Blogger Rob said...

yestbay, "naked company" is just priceless. Great turn of phrase. You should have said "Yes, as long as no sex takes place and no money changes hands! Take it all off, honey!" I've never heard a working girl call it that.

2:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm 54, medium rich white guy with credit cards, not ugly (so my wife says), medium height/weight. I have never had to pay for sex in Vegas, too many drunk women looking to hook up, or my wife is with me.

Either way why risk it? -EV is an understatement. Watch the move 'Very Bad Things' Crikey. Made me swear off hookers for good.

Now, a buddy of mine hooked up with a fairly nice mid-western blond girl downtown about 10 years ago. Gave him the ride of his life for $75. Good times.

8:42 AM  
Blogger grrouchie said...

Just wanted to say I love Very Bad Things!

Going to have to find a copy and watch it again now!

7:02 PM  

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