Tuesday, July 16, 2013

25 Years and Counting - An Alternate Wedding Story

Today Mrs. lightning and I are celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary. Hard to believe all that time has gone by.

While Mrs. lightning is waxing nostalgic on that time, I certainly had a different reality. I made an extremely poor choice by drinking waaaay too much at my bachelor party two nights before my wedding. After going to several bars, we, of course, felt compelled to visit a local adult entertainment establishment. I knew that I had too much to drink when a stripper had me open my wallet so that she could select the bill of her choice. Thank goodness the biggest she saw was a $10 bill! So take that, my friends who think that I am cheap. Looks like getting me drunk is the key!

Of course, they had me go up on stage and sat me in a chair where the various dancers danced all around and on me as I was forced to sit on my hands. Little do my kids know that a seemingly innocent box in our garage was actually the box that the strippers gave to me to help celebrate the upcoming nuptials. You can guess the kind of things that were inside. They even wrote a nice note.

The next day I was one hurting guy. My family came into town and the rehearsal dinner was scheduled for that night. I felt like total crap but somehow made it through the day and night. All I had to eat the entire day was a chicken leg.

The morning of the wedding I still felt like crap. Worse yet, my tuxedo pants had to be altered and were sitting at the formal wear shop. My wedding was scheduled for noon and the store did not open until 10:00 a.m. I was pacing around my house which seemed to delight my younger brother, who had apparently never seen his calm, cool and collected brother this anxious. I decided to go to the formal wear shop 1 1/2 hours before it opened just so that I could settle down. Thankfully, the owner came in an hour early, saying "I thought you might be here waiting for me."

Right before the wedding one of my friends told me "We have a car waiting outside in case you change your mind at the last minute." Yowsa!

What we looked like that day:

After the wedding I still could not eat anything. We had a relatively large reception which went really well. The new Mrs. lightning  and I then headed to our hotel. I had a friend who was determined to hound us on our wedding night so I had actually made reservations at several hotels in town just to throw him off. No sooner had we gotten up to our penthouse room when the phone rang. I answered and was told by the operator that a Mr. E. E. Springs wanted to see us. Of course, this could only be my friend who delighted in describing having sex as the bed springs squeaking ee, ee ee ee ... We told the operator that it was our wedding night and that we would prefer to have no calls forwarded. The hotel guessed what was going on and they invited a small group of our friends who were in the lobby to leave. We looked out our penthouse window and saw the sad pandas going back to their car in defeat.

We ordered some room service meals -- the first thing I had to eat in the past 48 hours beside the lonely chicken wing, and then ... well, you know ...

So ... 25 years later we are still together and are the proud parents of three kids, aged 21, 19 and 16. Through good times and bad, we have enjoyed our lives.

A couple of poker bloggers have met Mrs. lightning. Memphis MOJO was the first when we met up in Memphis and MOJO paid off our last longer WSOP bet to me. I mention this now since he has become such a tournament stud over the years!

The Neophyte also met her when Mrs. lightning and I were in the Tampa area in February of last year.

Of course, it should be apparent that Mrs. lightning must be an special women to have tolerated me for 25 years of marriage and several years before that. She is an amazing woman: intelligent, kind, fun loving, spiritual, beautiful.

Definitive proof that poker bloggers marry up?

So tonight we will have a nice dinner together and prepare for the next 25 years and whatever they will bring. I truly am a lucky guy.


Blogger Brian said...

Congrats! Truly an accomplishment IMO. I am in year 14 of my marriage so not too far behind.

And yes she is way hotter than you sir!

3:29 PM  
Blogger Lucki Duck said...

"I knew that I had too much to drink when a stripper had me open my wallet so that she could select the bill of her choice. Thank goodness the biggest she saw was a $10 bill!"

You forgot to mention it was the ONLY bill in your wallet!

Congrats on the first 25. Here's hoping she doesn't wise up in the next 25 :)

3:45 PM  
Blogger grrouchie said...

Your wife has aged very well....
I feel bad for her waking up to you every morning sir

6:45 PM  
Blogger Jeremy said...


8:31 PM  
Blogger Mr Subliminal said...

Happy 25th Anniversary !!!

9:48 PM  
Blogger Rob said...

Congrats and happy anniversary.

I am amazed at the wedding photo. Your wife is beautiful. You, on the other hand.....how did anyone marry you with that beard? Seriously, man.

And the hair....looks like it escaped from the Beatles circa 1964.

12:46 AM  
Blogger Spot said...

Congrats! Talk about a good run.

2:36 AM  
Blogger The Poker Meister said...

Congrats! Just finished 11 (ELEVEN!!!) in March! 25 seems so FAR away...

8:50 AM  
Blogger FlushDraww said...

Your wife is a stunningly beautiful woman and from the way you describe her it is obvious that this is true both inside and out. 25 years and going strong. May you both have nothing but great times for the next 50 years. All my hopes, all my dreams with you both.

10:27 PM  

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