Friday, October 18, 2019

For Emily, Whenever I May Find Her

Yesterday, I was reminded of kind of a funny/weird family story. It goes back to when my kids were really young.

Friends of mine know that I am a bargain hunter.Years ago when my kids were small, my family stopped at a McDonald's for lunch. While buying a few Happy Meals, I noticed a promotion by McDonald's: fill out a form with a child's name, address, date of birth, etc., and McDonald's would send the child a certificate for a free Happy Meal on his/her birthday. Sounds kind of sweet to a bargain hunter, right? The only problem was that none of my kids had a birthday coming up in the immediate future. So what did I do? I filled out a form for a make believe daughter, whom I named Emily, and assigned her a birthday in about a month so that a certificate for a free Happy Meal would come before any of the real birthdays of my kids. Anytime there was a promotion similar to this, I resurrected my third daughter, Emily. Mind you, this was all back some time ago -- like around 20 years ago.

It was amazing how giving this information on a few innocent looking cards sent to businesses reverberated. Pretty soon, Emily received more mail than any of my real kids. Some of the mailings were a real hoot, such as her invitation to join something like "Outstanding Junior High School Students in America." Her invitation was purportedly based upon a "personal recommendation from her school's administrators" and was based upon her academic achievement and involvement in school activities. Well, I was sure a proud papa!

Over the years, the number of pieces of mail for Emily decreased to almost nothing. However, once every blue moon, we would get something for Emily.

After I finished my work day yesterday, I came home and stopped at the mailbox. I was surprised to see that my wife and I must have raised Emily right as she received a mailing from the St. Jude Children's Research Hospital in Tennessee. Apparently, Emily had contributed one or more times. That's my girl!

Does anyone else have a similar story, or am I the only cheap ass around?

Simon and Garfunkel's "For Emily, Whenever I May Find Her"


Blogger The Neophyte said...

You must be such a proud papa to have raised such a wonderful girl. Better watch out or Rob will be posting a picture of her in his next blog post.

8:54 PM  
Blogger thundering36 said...

Emily is and always has been my favourite niece. She was always so quiet when she visited that I hardly knew that she was there. She is so different from you or Mrslightning. It's almost as if she were the child of other parents.

However, I do have to tell you that she once stole $100 from my wallet. If you'd be so kind... you can donate the money to the Warren2020 campaign and we'll call it even.

I'm sure that all of your poker buddies will be glad to meet her on your next Vegas trip. But, please, do not introduce her to that dishevelled looking gentleman if he's playing one of dem good machines. He might scare her.

7:52 AM  
Blogger Tony Bigcharles said...

why not the Tulsi2020 fund instead?

11:09 AM  
Blogger thundering36 said...

Because I'm not a Republican.

4:56 PM  
Blogger Lester said...

However many years ago when the kid's meals promo toys were of interest to my daughter I would do drive-thru orders when I was alone in the car and heading home to have dinner alone but I add on a happy meal "for my daughter" so I could get her that week's toy. I always ordered the happy meal with an orange pop to make it sound more genuine. I know I will burn in hell for that deceipt....

9:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi! I've been reading your blog for a long time
now and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from Kingwood Tx!

Just wanted to mention keep up the great work!

1:47 AM  
Blogger Lucki Duck said...

Signed my cat up for life insurance once. He didn't get accepted, but received quite a bit of mail through the years. This was before the internet explosion. I can only imagine what he would get had I done it online. :)

4:15 PM  

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