Illinois Pre-Primary Presidential Voting Guide
Feel sorry for me as I live in Illinois. We currently have no state budget for 2015-2016 because our corrupt Democrat-led group of state legislators cannot come to an agreement with our rich, destruction-bound Republican governor. We are deeply in debt because the state did not, for many years, put in its share of pension money. I've contributed my share every month for over 25 friggin' years, yet the legislators try to place the blame on guys like me. So really, at the risk of sounding poorly -- fuck this fucking state and its political crooks. I hope I get the hell out of here before they steal my pension money. But ... I am still here right now, ready to vote in tomorrow's primaries. My "expert" analysis of the presidential candidates:
Democrats
I will not be voting in this primary as I still cling on to a few of the old Republican values. My party has largely deserted guys like me, so at some point, unless the Libertarians make a major move, I might be part of the evil side. Sigh
Bernie Sanders
My kids, poor college students, dig his socialist views. Sure -- redistribute money so everyone has some, comrade. It won't sound nearly as good to my son, who is completing his B.S in Math and Computer Science, once he lands a sweet job paying him decent money for all the thousands I dumped into his University of Illinois education. However, you have to love how a grandfatherly old guy like Bernie has energized young people. He is a good man, and our country could certainly do much worse -- like electing one of the many dildoesque candidates still in the race.
President Hillary Clinton
Difficult to see her not winning this fall's election. She is super smart and has extensive administrative experience. Unfortunately, I find her to be morally bankrupt, never finding a lie she can't love. Although I disagree with her politically, I do respect that she could probably run the country about as well as anyone. She needs to hope that one of her many crimes is not discovered before she croaks -- that she and husband Bill arranged to have Vince Foster killed. Yeah -- laugh now, but remember where you heard it. I can't believe that I might vote for her this fall.
Republicans
I used to be proud to be a Republican. Not anymore. I have consistently had moderate Republican views for most of my life. Now my party has been overtaken by the radical right loonies. Instead of wanting government out of people's lives, they now want to interject God into everything. Tons of racism and hate and simmer right below the surface. What is a moderate to do?
Ted Cruz
This guy appears to be quite a prick. Apparently the people with whom he works don't like him much. He appeals to the fundamental religious right evangelical crowd. A lot of bluster about all the things he will change immediately once he becomes president. If only things were that easy. Maybe he has a master plan for expediting the removal of millions of illegal aliens in a week. I think he would try to do it.
Marco Rubio
I had high hopes for this guy, but he was a disappointment throughout the primaries. Perhaps his youth and inexperience were really showing. I think he is fundamentally a good guy who will be back in the future. I don't agree with all his views, but for some reason he gives me hope. I hope he isn't a flash in the pan. I wouldn't be surprised to see him elected president sometime in the next twenty years.
Donald Trump
What the heck is this guy doing running anyway -- bored with all his wealth? Full of bravado and bluster, he is an embarrassment to decent men everywhere. Even the indecent ones. Do you want your president calling ANY woman a pig? He is appealing to the angry, disillusioned crowd who revel in his bluntness and honesty. A thinly veiled hatred seems to be his calling card. Not a whole lot of substance beneath his mantra to "Make America great again." Go back to reality television.
John Kasich
Here is the best of the remaining presidential candidates. He appeared to be the only adult in a recent Republican debate. Unfortunately, he appears to have the personality of a wet noodle. He doesn't seem to have the gift of inspiration like some other candidates have. But ... he is experienced and at least realistic. I don't agree with all his views, but I get the feeling that he would be a decent head of state and executive administrator. He is so far behind that he has probably sunk himself, which is really too bad. Still, he gets my vote tomorrow. Keep hope alive ...
Trump wants to build that huge wall between the U.S.A and Mexico. Perhaps we need to concentrate on building a wall between the U.S.A and Canada to keep in all the people who will be ready to emigrate once one of these chumps gets elected. God Save the Queen!
Democrats
I will not be voting in this primary as I still cling on to a few of the old Republican values. My party has largely deserted guys like me, so at some point, unless the Libertarians make a major move, I might be part of the evil side. Sigh
Bernie Sanders
My kids, poor college students, dig his socialist views. Sure -- redistribute money so everyone has some, comrade. It won't sound nearly as good to my son, who is completing his B.S in Math and Computer Science, once he lands a sweet job paying him decent money for all the thousands I dumped into his University of Illinois education. However, you have to love how a grandfatherly old guy like Bernie has energized young people. He is a good man, and our country could certainly do much worse -- like electing one of the many dildoesque candidates still in the race.
President Hillary Clinton
Difficult to see her not winning this fall's election. She is super smart and has extensive administrative experience. Unfortunately, I find her to be morally bankrupt, never finding a lie she can't love. Although I disagree with her politically, I do respect that she could probably run the country about as well as anyone. She needs to hope that one of her many crimes is not discovered before she croaks -- that she and husband Bill arranged to have Vince Foster killed. Yeah -- laugh now, but remember where you heard it. I can't believe that I might vote for her this fall.
Republicans
I used to be proud to be a Republican. Not anymore. I have consistently had moderate Republican views for most of my life. Now my party has been overtaken by the radical right loonies. Instead of wanting government out of people's lives, they now want to interject God into everything. Tons of racism and hate and simmer right below the surface. What is a moderate to do?
Ted Cruz
This guy appears to be quite a prick. Apparently the people with whom he works don't like him much. He appeals to the fundamental religious right evangelical crowd. A lot of bluster about all the things he will change immediately once he becomes president. If only things were that easy. Maybe he has a master plan for expediting the removal of millions of illegal aliens in a week. I think he would try to do it.
Marco Rubio
I had high hopes for this guy, but he was a disappointment throughout the primaries. Perhaps his youth and inexperience were really showing. I think he is fundamentally a good guy who will be back in the future. I don't agree with all his views, but for some reason he gives me hope. I hope he isn't a flash in the pan. I wouldn't be surprised to see him elected president sometime in the next twenty years.
Donald Trump
What the heck is this guy doing running anyway -- bored with all his wealth? Full of bravado and bluster, he is an embarrassment to decent men everywhere. Even the indecent ones. Do you want your president calling ANY woman a pig? He is appealing to the angry, disillusioned crowd who revel in his bluntness and honesty. A thinly veiled hatred seems to be his calling card. Not a whole lot of substance beneath his mantra to "Make America great again." Go back to reality television.
John Kasich
Here is the best of the remaining presidential candidates. He appeared to be the only adult in a recent Republican debate. Unfortunately, he appears to have the personality of a wet noodle. He doesn't seem to have the gift of inspiration like some other candidates have. But ... he is experienced and at least realistic. I don't agree with all his views, but I get the feeling that he would be a decent head of state and executive administrator. He is so far behind that he has probably sunk himself, which is really too bad. Still, he gets my vote tomorrow. Keep hope alive ...
Trump wants to build that huge wall between the U.S.A and Mexico. Perhaps we need to concentrate on building a wall between the U.S.A and Canada to keep in all the people who will be ready to emigrate once one of these chumps gets elected. God Save the Queen!
posted by lightning36 at 8:30 PM
13 Comments:
my mother would sure be disappointed by your views on God
The situation with your state government sounds awful. Is someone filing a class action suit against those incompetent morons who run your state? if not, perhaps an organized protest where you all storm the statehouse is in order? Or just overthrow the damn government.
This election might end up being the worst choice ever presented to the American public in a Presidential election in my lifetime. Or EVER, for that matter.
I mean you'd have to pick between the most vile, evil, despicable, reprehensible unworthy, dishonest, unaccomplished person ever to be nominated by one of the two major parties.....and the second most vile, evil, despicable, reprehensible, unworthy, dishonest, unaccomplished person ever to be nominated by one of the two major parties. I'll leave it to the reader to figure out who is who.
But there's a glimmer of hope. If Kasich wins Ohio, Trump probably won't be able to win enough delegates to sew up the nomination before the convention, and the convention is unlikely to nominate him.
i am sure Lightning gives zero fucks about what yr mom thinks Tony. in other news Vote libertarian.
@Rob -- Our situation in Illinois is awful. Higher education in the state is being ruined because the elected officials are playing a game of chicken with the citizens in the middle. We definitely need term limits.
@Tony -- I am sure that she would be. I think the God I believe in would not be.
@anger -- I believe the Libertarians are closest to my beliefs. However, until a vote for those candidate is not wasted, I will vote for other candidates.
It's depressing that these options are the best this county can offer. It's a spectrum between the scary and the merely incompetent. And the fact that our fellow citizens in many areas of the country are willing to publically support people like Cruz and Trump makes me never want to leave civilized society here in D.C. That is all.
Usually when people want to talk about politics, I just tune it out -- they have their mind made up and that's that. This was an excellent analysis, however. Maybe Libertarian is the way to go!?!?
I might book a one way ticket back to Australia for Jan.19, 2017, just in case. No way will I live in a country stupid enough to elect someone as loathsome as Donald Trump as President. Last week I voted absentee in the Illinois primary and voted for a Clinton for the first time. It wasn't easy, but what the heck.
@thunder y not Canada??
Nice, thoughtful analysis. I go with almost 100% of what you said. Right with you on Kasich, Wet Noodle was the perfect adjective I was looking for but could not come up with in my own mind.
@anger - I am still technically a Permanent Resident of Australia(though I've lived back her for 16 years) and am allowed to legally go back there to live at any time. I also am permitted to legally live in New Zealand.I must return to Australia at least to visit every three years. I have until February of next year to do so. My last trip back was in February 2014. Lightning never took advantage of me living there for 25 years by visiting. Free room and board and a casino. Perhaps when I return Tony may... lol
poker&gambling (WEC) dont agree with ur analysis at all in all honesty, seeing he confessed to voting for trump.
Unfortunately we get the candidates we deserve. We've turned into a country who cares more about what's hot than what's important. Donald Trump as a viable candidate is the end result. Unfortunately it appears we will get to choose between the 2 worst possible candidates. And we deserve it. Maybe this election finally gets something changed in the voters but I DOUBT IT. Instead we'll just miserably hump along while our elected and appointed officials do whatever they can to maintain their ephemeral "power". George Orwell looks more and more prescient. All pigs are created equal but some pigs are more equal than others.
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