"Official" Statement From Cereus Regarding Absolute Poker and Ultimate Bet

Dear Sucker:

It is finally time for all the chumps in the world (and that includes you, buddy) to get a life and realize that you were dumb shits to do business with us. Geez -- it was not enough that superuser accounts were created and some players lost ungodly amount of mobney playing at an unfair advantage? Even when the stories surfaced you still believed in us? Pathetic! At least you know that we always had secure connections -- uh ... right?

Did you ever try to follow the money to find out who really was running the show here? Holy JFK -- talk about a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma!

Even after the DOJ indictments came down and even after PokerStars and Full Tilt Poker suspended real money play to USA poker players, we still continuue to offer tournaments and "cash" games. If you have not yet figured it out, let us explain it to you: our "cash" games now = play money games. Have fun playing while our sites are still functional.

Oh yeah -- don't come looking for us. That deserted building you might find? We're on an extended vacation.

One more thing regarding cash outs ..................

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Sincerely,

The Management



NOTE: A good read for the real sad story here ...

Monday Musings

Chicago Blackhawks vs Vancouver Canucks

Well, well, well. How things have changed. As best I can understand, the Vancouver Canucks are the closest thing in other professional sports to the Chicago Cubs -- lots of great, dedicated fans and a team that just can not seem to do it, whether by circumstances, bad luck or bad karma, or a curse. The Canucks, the best regular season team in the NHL in 2010-2011, has been forced into a game seven after leading the once-floundering Chicago Blackhawks 3-0 in their series. With the game at home and superior overall talent, it would appear that the Canucks should take game seven. However, with history and momentum on their side, the Chicago Blackhawks are probably the smart choice. The final game could go either way, but I expect that Wednesday's Vancouver Sun online will be filled with anger and vitriol.

Rocking the Real Green Felt Tables

The current state of online poker helped me make a last-minute decision Saturday night to take a road trip to the nearest casino offering poker. I made the trip to Peoria, IL in record time, only to have to wait for an hour on a busy Saturday night to get seated when the  room opened a new table. I perhaps might write about the trip in more detail in a subsequent post. However, I was able to get my poker jones satisfied, playing in a cash game for over seven hours. I was a little rusty and misread the board once as I got ready to call it a night. I ended up losing a few bucks, but the trip was well worth it to get me back at the table again.

The Aftermath of the DOJ Indictments

I have still been able to play online poker at Ultimate Bet, and even played a little at Cake Poker and Bodog, sites that I do not particularly like. I also played in a private play money tournament at PokerStars that had gift certificates for the winners. With some tangible incentive, the game played just like a regular real money tournament.

What did I miss most this past week? I missed connecting with some of my regular online poker buddies. I think I am going through Very Josie withdrawal. Does anyone have a cure?

As the future for basketball and hockey becomes cleared after Tuesday, I will finally write my long-promised post regarding the current status of Chicago professional sports teams.

Cheers!

Does Today Mark The End of Online Poker As We Know It?

The Department of Justice indicted the owners of PokerStars, Full Tilt Poker, and Ultimate Bet today. PokerStars has already blocked access to real money games for US players. I imagine that the others will quickly follow.

Cribbage, anyone?

Saturday Freerolls & A Short Vacation

Played in two private freerolls today and spent waaaay too much time out of my day on them. The first was a CardsChat freeroll -- the usual Saturday nooner at Full Tilt -- and I snagged second place. I joked with my wife, who worked a few hours this afternoon, that I actually made more money than she did. And I did!

I then also played at the Global Gaming Events GGE vs UB Pros II at Ultimate Bet. I finished 22nd out of 1,397 runners when my A-Q lost to K-7 all in pre-flop. A King and a 7 on the flop and that was all she wrote.

I leave for Las Vegas in less than twelve hours. This should be a fun trip as I hope to meet some older and some newer friends. I plan to meet old buddies HyppieChyck and Jiggy from the Shark Poker Tour. I also plan to meet bloggers Lucki Duck and The Neophyte. I just may even get in some poker.

Catch ya on the flip side!