"Official" Statement From Cereus Regarding Absolute Poker and Ultimate Bet

Dear Sucker:

It is finally time for all the chumps in the world (and that includes you, buddy) to get a life and realize that you were dumb shits to do business with us. Geez -- it was not enough that superuser accounts were created and some players lost ungodly amount of mobney playing at an unfair advantage? Even when the stories surfaced you still believed in us? Pathetic! At least you know that we always had secure connections -- uh ... right?

Did you ever try to follow the money to find out who really was running the show here? Holy JFK -- talk about a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma!

Even after the DOJ indictments came down and even after PokerStars and Full Tilt Poker suspended real money play to USA poker players, we still continuue to offer tournaments and "cash" games. If you have not yet figured it out, let us explain it to you: our "cash" games now = play money games. Have fun playing while our sites are still functional.

Oh yeah -- don't come looking for us. That deserted building you might find? We're on an extended vacation.

One more thing regarding cash outs ..................

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Sincerely,

The Management



NOTE: A good read for the real sad story here ...

PokerStars Cash-Out Comes Through

I checked my poker checking account this morning and saw that my small PokerStars cash-out had already been deposited into my account. It looks like things are really final. Bye, JokerStars.

Does Today Mark The End of Online Poker As We Know It?

The Department of Justice indicted the owners of PokerStars, Full Tilt Poker, and Ultimate Bet today. PokerStars has already blocked access to real money games for US players. I imagine that the others will quickly follow.

Cribbage, anyone?

Nice Run in WBCOOP 2011 Main Event

Although I got off to a very slow start, patience paid off in the WBCOOP 2011 Main Event as I finished in 25th place out of 872 runners. Almost six hours invested to fall short of the final table, however, was disappointing.

For the first couple of hours I was not getting anywhere. Then, horror of horrors, when I was short stacked and waiting to shove, I got distracted with a home matter and inadvertently folded pocket Aces! Needless to say, my language was quite colorful and objects were flying through the air!

I lucked out when I got Q-Q in the Big Blind and had two people raise. However, the flop brought an Ace and I thought I was a goner. One of the guys raised and drove the other player out. He had A-9 and flopped two pair. But then ... a Queen on the turn and I was back in the ball game!

Other bloggers who were hovering in the good half of the leader board for much of the tournament included wolfshead and Drizztdj. I eventually was at a table with wolfshead for the better part of an hour.

I played fundamentally solid poker and only had one player upset with me. Late in the tourney I raised in early position with A-Q and faced an all-in for a good percentage of my chips. I was guessing that, at worst, I was flipping. I was playing for first place and snap called. An Ace on the flop took care of his pocket Jacks. He couldn't believe I made the call so fast. The hand helped catapult me all the way to second place. However, a semi-bluff on a nut flush draw devoured a big chunk of my new found chips. Had I binked a diamond I would have been in first and had a nice cushion. As it was, I dropped down to about 14th place where I tended to hover as the play slowed down when we got to the $215 ticket bubble.

After the bubble burst, the play got wild and crazy. I didn't have the cards or position to push, so I just waited patiently for my chance. I got it when I was dealt K-K on the button. There was three-way pre-flop action and I had hopes of tripling up and moving toward the front of the pack. However, this happened:

Awk -- out in 25th place! One guy claimed he had J-J but folded. That would have made the hand even wilder. But -- what can you do?

So ... the only 2011 WBCOOP event I went deep in was the Main Event, so I guess I can't complain. My only question is ... who the hell were most of those players?